There’s a current hit on the country music charts by Luke Combs called When It Rains It Pours. From the title it sounds like it will be just another song about misery. The opposite is true. The guy’s luck turns to gold when his girl walks out. He gives credit for his new-found luck to the fact she left and adds, “I ain’t gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore”. I love that line. It brings to mind all sorts of situations, but I hope it doesn’t apply to me.
Melding families, with their likes, dislikes, political views, religious beliefs and quirks is a tricky business. The couple have made their choice and they are happy with it, but that doesn’t mean the extended family is. I have also seen the case where the bride or groom can’t accept the closeness their mate has with their mother and will do anything to undermine it. That makes me sick. The pain it causes is sometimes insurmountable.
I think being a good mother-in-law is difficult because when trouble starts brewing in paradise, it’s hard not to take your own child’s side, even when you can see the problem is a joint one. Then the inner argument starts, “Do I say something or not?” I guess it depends on the situation, how long the “kids” have been married, and whether you think they can work it out on their own.
But this day is about acknowledging your mother-in-law. I’m old enough I don’t have one, in fact I never had the pleasure of meeting my mother-in-law. I hear wonderful stories about her from all of my husband’s family. I think I missed something really nice.
I can say, it would make my day to get just a text from one of my children’s significant others on this day. A card would send me over the moon. I don’t expect one, neither of my own kids are much into cards or displaying feelings in a tangible way so their partners don’t have an example to follow. If you are reading this and have a mother-in-law may I suggest you shoot her a text and make her day.
10/23/2017 at 01:27
The role of Mother-in-law seems to be very diverse depending on culture, Susan. Among my friends and peer group most people have a very good relationship with their MIL but in the African culture, where the MIL rules the household and the DIL must bow to her demands, it is a different situation. I think there can be a lot of resentment.
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10/23/2017 at 07:07
I agree with you. In the states, it all depends on how well the personalities mesh. Our families spread all over the country now, no longer is it common to have everyone living near each other. I am lucky, my son is an hour away and my daughter twenty minutes.
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